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Believe it or not, I am still a miserable bugger who likes complaining about stuff. Shocked? Then get the hell away from my blog you simpleton, lest your stupidity catch.
1) American kids- Oh yes, they're back at the top of Benjamin J's shitlist. Why? Well, I am sick to death of these spoilt brats thinking they can fuck with my day when I'm playing the Xbox. I play the Xbox to chill out. I don't need some 13 year old Yank telling me that I'm a "fag" or implying that I have bad teeth.
This is all because it states I'm British on my profile and my accent seems to live up to their expectations of some kind of British toff. I have no idea where the teeth thing comes from so if someone could explain it to me that would be great.
I actually got told by a 12 year old (whilst playing the 18-rated Gears of War) to stop playing a kid's game and go kill myself. I snappily implied that he was only angry because he is regularly rectally fingered by a close family member and needs to vent all the sheer horror and guilt. I didn't get a reponse.
2) British kids - They are everywhere. (Ignore the fact that I live in Great Britain, I simply wanted a sort of theme linked to the first one. You've ruined it now. Hope you're happy) I basically mean kids in general. I went to Tesco today and there was an entire army of ankle-biters. Trouble is, they aren't very good at dodging my manly knees and I had to be extra careful not to damage any of them. Take into account that I am about as graceful as a one legged giraffe and you have a recipie for disaster.
3) 'The Dark Knight' hype- I will go out on a limb and say that no-one is more excited than me about the new film. However, I am so over the hype. It's ridiculous. Everywhere I look it's Batman this, Joker that. I don't want to be sick of the film before I actually see the freakin' thing! Speaking of which I am sick of the 'Joker scrawl' idea- exemplified here. It's a great idea but it's being lazily copied for film magazines and the like. This month's SFX is a prime example of how not to do it . Maybe it's because I live and breathe films, but I hate films being near release date and then shouted about like they're new on things like BBC News. Go back in time a couple of months to when I might have cared.
Sure, number 3 is sort of shallow when compared to the first two, but in this crazy, crazy world- what isn't shallow? Sounds harsh but people seem to care more about what's happening in "D- list Celebrity Degenerate Lock-up" aka "Big Brother" than the credit crunch and knife crime. Hey, at least I'm aware of that stuff...
Peace out people,
Ben "Why so serious?" Browne
BENJY BONUS!
Here are some of the blog outtakes. Try and guess where they originally appeared...
"...but I did hear a squelching noise"
"... and that's why I am no longer welcome at any midget convention. Seriously, they have pictures of me on the wall. Of course, it is a rather small wall..."
"At least it's better than a cheap hairdryer"
1) American kids- Oh yes, they're back at the top of Benjamin J's shitlist. Why? Well, I am sick to death of these spoilt brats thinking they can fuck with my day when I'm playing the Xbox. I play the Xbox to chill out. I don't need some 13 year old Yank telling me that I'm a "fag" or implying that I have bad teeth.
This is all because it states I'm British on my profile and my accent seems to live up to their expectations of some kind of British toff. I have no idea where the teeth thing comes from so if someone could explain it to me that would be great.
I actually got told by a 12 year old (whilst playing the 18-rated Gears of War) to stop playing a kid's game and go kill myself. I snappily implied that he was only angry because he is regularly rectally fingered by a close family member and needs to vent all the sheer horror and guilt. I didn't get a reponse.
2) British kids - They are everywhere. (Ignore the fact that I live in Great Britain, I simply wanted a sort of theme linked to the first one. You've ruined it now. Hope you're happy) I basically mean kids in general. I went to Tesco today and there was an entire army of ankle-biters. Trouble is, they aren't very good at dodging my manly knees and I had to be extra careful not to damage any of them. Take into account that I am about as graceful as a one legged giraffe and you have a recipie for disaster.
3) 'The Dark Knight' hype- I will go out on a limb and say that no-one is more excited than me about the new film. However, I am so over the hype. It's ridiculous. Everywhere I look it's Batman this, Joker that. I don't want to be sick of the film before I actually see the freakin' thing! Speaking of which I am sick of the 'Joker scrawl' idea- exemplified here. It's a great idea but it's being lazily copied for film magazines and the like. This month's SFX is a prime example of how not to do it . Maybe it's because I live and breathe films, but I hate films being near release date and then shouted about like they're new on things like BBC News. Go back in time a couple of months to when I might have cared.
Sure, number 3 is sort of shallow when compared to the first two, but in this crazy, crazy world- what isn't shallow? Sounds harsh but people seem to care more about what's happening in "D- list Celebrity Degenerate Lock-up" aka "Big Brother" than the credit crunch and knife crime. Hey, at least I'm aware of that stuff...
Peace out people,
Ben "Why so serious?" Browne
BENJY BONUS!
Here are some of the blog outtakes. Try and guess where they originally appeared...
"...but I did hear a squelching noise"
"... and that's why I am no longer welcome at any midget convention. Seriously, they have pictures of me on the wall. Of course, it is a rather small wall..."
"At least it's better than a cheap hairdryer"
Current Location: Tesco- the Gotham City branch
Current Mood: 
mellow
mellowCurrently watching/ playing: Hellboy (2004)
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