So- haven't done one of these in a while...

Okay, okay. I apologise to anyone who enjoying reading my ramblings from time to time (Hi, Mum!) I have been writing, just concentrating on The Popcorn Bucket rather than my various personal blogs. I often find I only have the energy to do one. Mind you, with the film one, all I'm doing is reviewing a film, which anyone can see. With this one, I have to delve deep into my mind and pull out something non-boring, which can be tough. So here's what's been going on:

I accidently (honestly) offended a budding journalist friend of mine after I offered some advice on how to improve their blog. I meant it as friendly constructive criticism but it was taken as an all-out attack, with me blowing holes in their grandiose ship of dreams with my bastardcannons. I should tell you that this conversation took place over MSN, so this misunderstanding wasn't due to my misleading general sarcastic nature. It reminded me of this article which I stumbled across whilst researching some Internet related shite for my course. Certainly makes you think twice about all those messages you get on a day-to-day basis.

In more irritating news, my 20 year old sister seems to have turned into a preteen again with her love of the Twilight books and film and worst of all, The Jonas Brothers.

Let me sum up my feelings for each of these things in neat subheadings.

Twilight

Why are people so sucked in by this franchise? I've read the first book and seen the film and I don't get it. Yes, one could argue that Twilight is not aimed at me and people like me, but at the end of the day true brilliance doesn't have an age limit. Look at the Harry Potter series. The Twilight book shocked me with its linguistic simplicity, I would have honestly thought that some Goth girl in secondary school had written it to fill in the agonising pointless hours waiting for her parents to "understand her" and for the boys to call. I mean, even Edward Cullen's fucking breath is described as amazing:

"As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water."

and let's not forget the infinitely quotable line:

"I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest."

That is not writing. That is coupling a list of unspired, mawkish adjectives with Gray's Anatomy For Dummies.

The film is rather uninspiring as well, but rather than repeat myself, just go here for my review.


The Jonas Brothers

The High School Musical fad not camp enough for you? Then listen to the Jonas Brothers and let their shiny, corporate, finger-clickin' tunes give you diabetes of the ear. I have the utmost respect for the actual Jonas Brothers themselves who take credit for ghost-written songs and the like, but at least they can play their own instruments which is still a rarity in this bubblegum pop world. What gets to me is the way the whole "purity ring" thing has been sold as part of the Jonas package (honestly not intended as a pun). It's a classic safeguard that's been done time and time again in the music industry with artists like Britney Spears. By focussing on the virginity issue, they (and by "they" I mean the soulless fuckwallets in the Disney marketing department) are also drawing attention to it- i.e." They're not going to have SEX before marriage. They're not having SEX..." and so on. South Park pointed this out brilliantly in the episode entitled The Ring, so check it out if you can.

The songs aren't even that good.You'd expect a slick Disney product to have some irritatingly catchy songs that bore into the head like a vicious brainworm, but they're just...meh. Don't get me wrong, catchy, inoffensive, sugary-sweet pop is fine. It's harmless. What gets to me is the darker undertones that lurk behind the Jonas Brothers as a product. It's quite disturbing.